and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
His hands were made for my vagina.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
