when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
