Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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