Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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