Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
