reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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