Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Randomize
