new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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