did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
