My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
