i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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