You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize