I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
