So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
