my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
