dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Less talking, more tequila
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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