you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
