So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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