Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
