Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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