do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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