I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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