We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
