Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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