Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
