If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
