I feel like abortions should bother me more
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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