Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
No subtext here. People are naked.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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