since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
