yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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