He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
