the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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