i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
