Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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