this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize