Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
