So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i wish my penis had a tongue
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
