At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
