what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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