He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
