belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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