we're blogging at a bar
false alarm. still invincible.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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