AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
