My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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