BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
