I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
