Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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