last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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