Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
