i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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