She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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