Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
