I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
