She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
