But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
