I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
