I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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