Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
