i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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