no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
