You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
