It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
