we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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