He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
