don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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