I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
