were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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