The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize